Today started out great! I was able to help out a friend with a ride and then I had an appointment to be drug tested and authorize for a background check as part of the hiring process for a job I’m hoping to get. But that was all this morning, this afternoon was not as ‘Wayne’ friendly.
I need a job, there’s just no two ways about it at this point, so I am applying at all the second tier preference places I can find. I’m willing to go through the ‘I’m the new guy’ struggles learning the ropes in a new environment. I’d prefer to not fall back on a Call Center job, but I have to admit I applied for a front line position today. Maybe that is why I am a little on the irritable side, or it could have something to do with the fact that I have (once again) sworn off Pepsi and all other sugary carbonated drinks. Actually, let’s go back to the application process for the call center position for a minute. They had one of those 11 page questionnaires that asks the same question 18 different ways, you know the one I’m talking about:
- I like to be recognized for my accomplishments
- I feel people should be acknowledged for their accomplishments
- When I complete an assignment it is good for me to be recognized
- People should be bathed in accolades when they do their job
- If an accomplishment left the northern station at 3:00pm heading east and the recognition left the southern station heading north by north east at 3:05PM, how fast would the recognition need to travel to meet the accomplishment at the crossroads
11 pages of “this” and I started second guessing my own answers…and I hate to second guess myself. For the love of all that is good and worthy, just let me have a job. This leads me to my point about the sugary drinks: I think I was irritable about the way I am feeling (withdrawal) and not the repetitive and redundant questions on the application. In fact, right now I have the feeling that if I post this my perspective employer is going to read this is stamp “DO NOT HIRE” on my application because I’m ranting a bit. That is a chance I will have to take.
So, on with the day (and the main point of this post).
I needed to run up to the market and pick up a few things for dinner tonight (we are having Chicken Tortilla Soup with salad and Iced Tea) but when I get there it seems as if one of my neighbors posted a sign on my truck that says ‘everybody get in front of me and stop’. I can feel my blood pressure rising as I am crawling through the parking lot looking for a place to park. When I finally get a clear shot to the back of the lot where it is empty, I pull into my space and breath a sigh of relief. I stop for a minute and put my head down and with a feeling of being utterly defeated I exclaim “I feel so discontent with everything. I’m tired of being odd and blaming everybody else. Help me Jesus.”
I look up and just the sight of the store entrance causes me to have anxiety because I know they are waiting inside for me: every person in Tucson who is shopping without a list that has no intention of moving with any sense of purpose. I step out of my truck, lock the door, and move for the entrance when a truck comes around the corner and honks as it is moving in my direction. I do not know the truck or the woman behind the wheel but she is smiling and rolling down her window, and now I can clearly see her face…and still do not know her. She let’s me know she is a veteran and hates to bother me…and the wheels in my head start turning again: “I have no cash to give” is the first phrase I have loaded in the chamber. Several other rounds are in the magazine: “I don’t have time”, “I’m sorry, I wish I could help”, “yeah, I know things are tight right now. I’m unemployed too.” but that is not where the conversation goes, well not directly.
She shows me her ID and asks if I could buy her a gallon of gasoline. I tell her to pull over to the gas pump without flinching. All the other chatter I had loaded went away and was replaced with “Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back” Luke 6:30.
As we stood there and I pumped $10.00 into her tank we spoke very little except as I was returning the nozzle and asked her name: Elizabeth, a 50+ retired woman who served in the Air Force and needed a little gas. I shared with her my day, pretty much the story I recounted here…including my prayer. I then thanked her for being an answer to prayer and wished her safe travels.
Today, God moved very quickly and noticeably to remind me that my life is not about me. My perspective has been realigned. Thank you, Jesus.
(This is one of those posts where I just write it quickly without checking for spelling errors. If you find the grammar or syntax appalling, I’m sorry.)
Life in Black & White: My Broken Hip 
Posted on September 29, 2014
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